The Journey To Connection - By An Anonymous Guest Author

You’ve done it. You’ve sent the email. Had the phone consultation. Filled out the paperwork. Now what? You felt compelled to reach out for therapy for a reason! REASON! You want (or NEED) something to change. You feel confident this was the right next step but now what? Your first session could be anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks away. What are you supposed to do in the meantime while you are feeling depressed, hopeless, anxious, or restless?

We say “how are you” to the person checking us out at the grocery store, to a neighbor we pass by on a walk, and to our family and friends when we see them. If you’re struggling with depression or anxiety sometimes it might feel like a trick question. You might even be thinking, “Do they really want to know?”. When we are in the midst of a mental health struggle we often feel alone, like no one would ever understand. Some of us hide how we are feeling - silently suffering inside while everyone around us thinks we are fine. We all deserve support. We deserve to be able to open up with our most vulnerable feelings, fears, and thoughts. If you’re a client of mine, I’m 99% sure you’ve heard me tell you that you are not alone. I am serious - you are not alone. Not only has someone likely gone through something similar, those around you may be able to relate to what you’re going through more than you can imagine.

“I don’t know why I’m complaining I don’t have it as bad as ____”. Sound familiar? It’s interesting how a coping mechanism we use is comparing how hard our lives are with someone else. Then we judge ourselves if we feel like we are reacting too big. We are quick to dismiss our feelings as “too much” or embarrassing. What does this do for us? The argument I hear often is that it helps put things in perspective but, what I often notice is that this leads to shame about our emotions.

There’s one thing in common with all of us when we go to counseling: we acknowledge something isn’t working. From symptoms like sadness, tearfulness, confusion, anxiety, or relationship issues we know deep down things need to change. Things aren’t working. Counseling helps us be honest with ourselves about what is going on. It can help us curiously explore patterns that are no longer working for us (things like avoidance or judgment). We can work towards trying something different. It will be hard - sometimes exhausting- but it will be worth it.

What if continuing to resist the hard emotions and feelings (sadness, anger, hurt, embarrassment, guilt) in our lives is leading to not being able to feel the emotions we want to feel. It feels counter intuitive to ask someone to dive deeper into the emotions they are feeling when everything in us is telling us to run. What if the answer is resting in those emotions, letting them shine and getting curious about what they are telling us.