Comparing Our Suffering

“I don’t know why I’m complaining I don’t have it as bad as ____”. Sound familiar? It’s interesting how a coping mechanism we use is comparing how hard our lives are with someone else. Then we judge ourselves if we feel like we are reacting too big. We are quick to dismiss our feelings as “too much” or embarrassing. What does this do for us? The argument I hear often is that it helps put things in perspective but, what I often notice is that this leads to shame about our emotions.

In Rising Strong: The Reckoning. The Rumble. The Revolution., author Brene Brown states, “Empathy is not finite, and compassion is not a pizza with eight slices. When you practice empathy and compassion with someone, there is not less of these qualities to go around. There’s more. Love is the last thing we need to ration in this world. The refugee in Syria doesn’t benefit more if you conserve your kindness only for her and withhold it from your neighbor who’s going through a divorce. Yes, perspective is critical. But I’m a firm believer that complaining is okay as long as we piss and moan with a little perspective. Hurt is hurt, and every time we honor our own struggle and the struggles of others by responding with empathy and compassion, the healing that results affects all of us.”

So there you have it. Compassion is not pizza. There’s enough for you, for her, for him, for me. I challenge you to spread more compassion and empathy for others and yourself today.